Imagine you get home from a long day at work. You’re absolutely exhausted, and your best friend invites you out for a night on the town. Despite being tired, you say yes, and by the end of the evening, you actually feel energized.
It may seem contradictory to get an energy boost from such an outing, but dedicating time to deep social relationships will boost your long-term happiness. Just consider the positive psychologists, Ed Diener and Martin Seligman, who looked at the differences between “very happy people” and those who were less satisfied.
The only significant difference between the groups was that those who saw their lives as happier had strong circles of family, friends and/or romantic partners. So, while spending time with the special people in your life may not be enough to make you happy, it certainly plays a major role.
After all, by sharing your life with others, you invite them to share their lives with you. You open your thoughts, feelings and experiences to the people around you. Such exchanges increase the meaning of life as sharing joy is a pleasurable experience, and sharing sorrow can be comforting during painful times.
Friends are great for that, but stable and fulfilling romantic relationships also have a profound impact on happiness levels. While researching human well-being, the psychology professor David Myers found that a deep, caring and intimate lifelong relationship is one of the best predictors of happiness.
This correlation is only logical because when people love each other unconditionally and feel loved for being exactly who they are, they’re free to express their true selves. But to be successful, romantic relationships need to hold both pleasure and meaning.
A hedonistic relationship that's solely focused on pleasure and lust will rapidly lose its meaning, while a relationship based on shared values but lacking pleasure will also struggle. Balance is key.
-Tal Ben-Shahar, Happier
It may seem contradictory to get an energy boost from such an outing, but dedicating time to deep social relationships will boost your long-term happiness. Just consider the positive psychologists, Ed Diener and Martin Seligman, who looked at the differences between “very happy people” and those who were less satisfied.
The only significant difference between the groups was that those who saw their lives as happier had strong circles of family, friends and/or romantic partners. So, while spending time with the special people in your life may not be enough to make you happy, it certainly plays a major role.
After all, by sharing your life with others, you invite them to share their lives with you. You open your thoughts, feelings and experiences to the people around you. Such exchanges increase the meaning of life as sharing joy is a pleasurable experience, and sharing sorrow can be comforting during painful times.
Friends are great for that, but stable and fulfilling romantic relationships also have a profound impact on happiness levels. While researching human well-being, the psychology professor David Myers found that a deep, caring and intimate lifelong relationship is one of the best predictors of happiness.
This correlation is only logical because when people love each other unconditionally and feel loved for being exactly who they are, they’re free to express their true selves. But to be successful, romantic relationships need to hold both pleasure and meaning.
A hedonistic relationship that's solely focused on pleasure and lust will rapidly lose its meaning, while a relationship based on shared values but lacking pleasure will also struggle. Balance is key.
-Tal Ben-Shahar, Happier
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